Time for a wax?

Ahhh, glorious Chinese New Year! What better to do than spend all your time online reading the news and catching up on world events. Well, ok. I was really bored and have no friends so I was reading the news. I did come across a few interesting items that deserve some commentary.

In fact, I was checking on world news and a headline jumped out at me:
"Scientists to track Bigfoot" It has been a while since I have heard reference to Bigfoot aka Sasquatch. The belief in Bigfoot ranks up there in hype and conjecture with UFOs and has sites, films, documentaries and books dedicated to it. I suppose that it has certain appeal to me as North America is home to many of the "sightings" and as a kid I vividly remember seeing Bigfoot on episodes of "The Six Million Dollar Man", as we heard in Season 3 about The Secret of Bigfoot in two episodes. The show was pop culture, whilst Bigfoot is cultish at best.

This article had extra appeal as it pertains to Malaysia, my current home. "Credibility" is a difficult word to interject in a discussion about Bigfoot...but this recent sighting has some interesting potential. This region is home to the World's oldest rainforest and is home to countless species and areas that have been relatively untapped. In fact, within the last 6 months 2 entirely new species have been found in the Indonesia/Malaysia area. The world's smallest fish has recently been discovered and "trapped" on camera in Borneo was a new carnivore. This region has potential to house, and in fact is home to the newly discovered.

What might also lend credence to the Bigfoot is that it is not new. It has history of lore and is embedded in the cultures of those that hold the Earth as the centre piece of their belief system. The wildman on the coats-of-arms of European royal families, Kwakiutl mythology of Bokwus(wild man), Dzonokwa (wild woman) and other Native Indian cultures. Edmond Hillary sighted a Yeti (Abominable Snowman) in his 1952 expedition, prompting a 1953 Yeti expedition financed by the Daily Mail News in London. In 1924, an Oregon paper reported a miner Fred Beck had fought off a group of large hairy creatures at a cabin on Mt. St. Helens.
Roger Patterson filmed a Sasquatch in Bluff Creek, CA in 1967; or did he?

In other parts of the world is the the Australian Yowie Man, the Yeti/Abominable Snowman of the Himilayas, and the Mapinguari in the Amazon. And now a new twist in Malaysia....

It just takes a hint of potential to make you ponder whether there is another species out there....scientists have gone so far as to test the alleged hair of Bigfoot for DNA! So why now in Endau-Rompin National Park?

I have a theory....


I should probably wear my shirt when I am outdoors!!!

Travellin' Willbury

The Miracle of.....

Trying to cheer myself up and was going through some of the jokes that have been sent to me recently and in the past....came across quite a few that had me rolling in laughter. Funny how some of these jokes make the rounds through email lists....I have seen the one that is the topic of this post several times, but each time it elicits a different response from me. Yeah, each time I laugh - but for different reasons. The first time was the visual of this chick's ass with a "Wide Load" sign on it.... this time I chuckled and took a different view on it. But how be we get to the motivation behind my post.....

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER

Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror, complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Puzzled but willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I ask. "They will grow larger over a period of years," he replies. I stop. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my
breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your ass, didn't it?"

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.
Stupid, stupid man.

Guys who haven't been married once, twice , or several times will not get the full value from this joke. God dammit!! They just set themselves up so many times.....and just the once you want to tell the truth....and look what happens: your balls are kicked up to lay to rest just under your chin. And if it was the BlackWidow....probably the quickest and most painful sex change ever done on a man!!! Those hands are lethal weapons I hear!!!

So, if you think your ass is huge, don't ask about it - cause if you are around Kai when he is FU, he will tell you...although, the last time at Zouk I am pretty sure I saw he and the lady at the top of this post getting "friendly"......poor fella, and he was sick even before that encounter!

The message that came through to me this time after reading this joke was..... "You need to know when to keep your mouth shut." Sometimes silence is golden, and an opinion or view is not needed or good for your health. I value my balls, all three of them, and prefer to keep my opinions to myself most of the time. So....take the hint that my friend on the left is trying to pass on.....if you value your balls, don't put them out there to be kicked....

For all those who have passed on their thoughts and feelings I appreciate it! Next little while be a bit tough making a decision, and then dealing with the consequences.

Travellin' Willbury

Home for a Rest?

A moment's silence please.......

Diving, swimming, kicking....ever deeper; I open my eyes and I can see Rock Bottom. Quite murky down here, and the water is cold - not a nice place to be. Can say that I haven't felt like this in a long, long time. The past two years contain some of the best and worst experiences of my life. Guess which end of the spectrum I am in now?

Not usually a guy to pour my heart out, or wear my feelings on my sleeve, but I have a major decision to make in the next little while that is going to effect me, and others for some time to come. You weigh the pros and cons to help you make these tough decisions, but what if you haven't got all the criteria? Have you weighed them properly? What is most important, really? Do you go with your gut or your heart? In the end, mine might not come down to either of those criteria.....

I had a helpful chat with Little One a few hours ago. God bless her. How could she possibly tell through an SMS that I was buggered! She raced home, in a borrowed car, to chat with me. Each and everyone that knows her, realizes that she would do the same for them. Thanks... you don't know how much that meant to me. We had a chat where I exposed some of my underbelly and some of the unique problems that I must now face and determine where they are on the pro/con list.....

Home for a rest ...... I was on my way in to work tonite trying to make sense of my predicament, and to shuffle some papers to distract myself and I had an inspiration. Little One strikes again! I am listening to my IPOD and one of my favourite songs comes on ..... it usually gets the feet stompin' and the fingers playing air guitar, but tonite, nothing but shivers. A little known band outside of Canada...but I considered it my theme song during my party days of uni....I'll share with you a little bit of this ditty:

Spirit of the West - Home for a Rest (MP3, 6.4 MB, 4:35)

You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best

I've been gone for a month, I've been drunk since I left

These so-called vacations will soon be my death

I'm so sick from the drink I need home for a rest.

We arrived in December and London was cold

We stayed in the bars along Charing Cross Road

We never saw nothin' but brass taps and oak

Kept a shine on the bar with the sleeves of our coats

CHORUS:

You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best

I've been gone for a week

I've been drunk since I left

And these so-called vacations

Will soon be my death

I'm so sick from the drink

I need home for a rest

Take me home....

Euston Station the train journey North

In the buffet car we lurched back and forth

Past old crooked dykes through Yorkshire's green fields

We were flung into dance as the train jigged and reeled

- CHORUS -

By the light of the moon, she'd drift through the streets

A rare old perfume, so seductive and sweet

She'd tease us and flirt, as the pubs all closed down

Then walk us on home and deny us a round

You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best

I've been gone for a month

I've been drunk since I left

And these so-called vacations

Will soon be my death

I'm so sick from the drink

I need home for a rest

Take me home....

The gas heater's empty, it's damp as a tomb

The spirits we drank now ghosts in the room

I'm knackered again, come on sleep take me soon

And don't lift up my head 'till the the twelve bells at noon

You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best

I've been gone for a month

I've been drunk since I left

And these so-called vacations

Will soon be my death

I'm so sick from the drink

I need home for a rest

Take me home....


as I struggle under the weight of a problem that is as monstrous as a continent, or even two.....

Hey....Einstein!!!

God bless his soul. Albert Einstein was a very prolific and intelligent man. Countless theories and inventions to his credit...some good and some bad. Einstein was one to throw a good quote out every once in a while also. He wasn't Yogi Berra (It's Deja Vu all over again!) mind you, but had some good ones.

New Year's Eve was spent in Kuching at Little One's house as she and her bro through a mighty NY party and birthday celebration. Of the coherent thoughts that came to mind...and there were only a few, was this quote from Einstein....

"Human beings must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it. "

I was given the admirable task of manning the bar as head bottlewasher, FUKai was the Bar Bitch and FUJames the Head Lush. We had many ingredients at hand, and action was called for!!! And I think by the end of the party, we had our hand in causing, or contributing to much of the action and antics in some way. It was either through our own stupidity, or the beverages coursing through the veins of the partygoers...which we had supplied.

FUJames, FUKai, FUBill

We had many ingredients at our disposal, and many willing participants in our experiment. It wasn't long before an elixir of honey-like ilk had been created and was being dispensed to the partygoers. The Bar Crew has entitled this liquid gold "The FU". Our patrons seemed to enjoy it and it was time for us to begin our own experiment -- who could consume the most, and remain standing.

Einstein had an innate sense of humanity and their ability to live. One of his quotes aptly describes our experiment and the living on the edge mentality:

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

And off we went.....reaching for the stars, and seeing them, as we drank many FU's and other liquids as we said bye bye to 2005. As you can see, some people reacted differently to the elixir:

Seemed to be no change for my dear Einstein....but what about the other jokers?

Dear FUJ was red in the face, in every picture, taking every other picture, playing the drums, dancing.....and then LIGHTS OUT!!! His snoring practically drowned out the music. You can see FUK trying to plug his nose to stop the God-foresaken noise.

Some put up a good fight. They danced, they partied, they blogged, they flirted on the internet with transexuals, had some cake, ate some too, but in the end.... LIGHTS OUT!!

The party was a huge success, and I want to thank Little One and Cooknengr for their hospitality.

And in the end.... we said nighty night to 2005.

Travellin' Willbury.

A Difference of Opinion?

For those who know me, I will on occasion have a different outlook on situations. Most of the time I try and look at things on the humorous side, or take a shot at someone.... A coping mechanism? Warped view? I don't really know..But people laugh. Nervous laughter? Not usually.... From deep down and hearty in nature.

I would like to call to attention my recent trip to Kuching. FUKai, MY and I traveled over to the Land of the Headhunters (aka Pablo's Party Place) to imbibe with Ann and her bro. Wicked time... But I really just wanted to hit the beach just once.... seems I am a little white! By the time we get there it is late afternoon and minimal sun.... We ride the waves, have some bevvies and then the fun begins! There are pictures taken, poses made and then photoshop and blog posts ramble on.

I call attention to the dastardly photoshop renditions of myself and the SPG....

Clearly, this is bullshit. The sasquatch like hair is totally photoshop.... as is the 2 pack on FUKai. Pictures certainly do add a few pounds for some of us, and even a couple years. The only thing that is not in question is that I am clearly the only real man in the picture. To ensure that I am not disparaged in the face of my peers I have inserted the "Real Deal" photo of myself so that people do not get the wrong idea.....enjoy.

Seeing the World through Different IIII?

Happy New Year !